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Will friends become enemies? Will colleagues become friends? Will the hunters become the hunted? Will the sword call...to you???

The season finale of Weird Times In Piss Harbor

Summary[]

The Gravefreaker introduces the episode as the campaign finale and sings his spooky cover of In the End by Linkin Park.

The party is enjoying themselves at The 10th Step bar where Tommy, now in a black cowboy hat, insists he is a changed man after his resurrection last episode. The party doesn’t find him that different, but he has replaced his roadrunner Hun with a magpie named Thou.

They get a call from Mabeline Moonlight to meet in their new sewer headquarters. Mabeline warns them that a bounty has been put on them before she reluctantly attacks them with burning torches. They fend her off at gunpoint, but as she blows Moose a good luck kiss, it blows the fire of her torch into her own face.

The party flees into the sewers, seeking the coast to flee the city. They fall into the trap of The Suck Brothers looking to collect the bounty. Edgica animates the sewer water to turn into filthy horses to wash them away, which Tommy rides into battle. Vincent Suck shields his brothers, revealing that drinking piss only makes him stronger. He fuses with his brothers into a Voltron-like formation, which Moose kills with his handgun. The brothers all turn into ghosts,which are too incorporeal to catch them.

The party finds a manhole cover to avoid being cornered like that again. They are immediately shot at by El Chupacabra, entering a gunfight with him where he shoots Tommy in the ear. Jonathan stuns him with his mace while Edgica deflects his bullets. Neil realizes her vanity wings actually work and flies over Chupacabra, nearly crushing him before Tommy and Moose deliver the killing gunshots.

Jonathan sees that Tommy is injured and eagerly invites them to go to the nearby hospital. He asks to see Jonathan Large Senior, revealing that the hospital bed is actually a secret stash of weapons. The team stocks up on gear while a doctor fixes Tommy’s hearing. The doctor reveals himself to be Cat Gentleman in disguise but Jonathan activates the bombs rigged in the door of the room, blowing out the floor so they can escape. Cat shoots Neil in the wings on their way out, crippling her newfound ability to fly. Tommy catches up with them, only able to grab a banana from Jonathan’s stash.

The group attempts to flee but they are confronted by The Backwards Boys, a team of bounty hunters who only walk backwards so their victims never see their faces. The party calmly walks away since they can’t shoot or even walk very well without looking.

With the shore in sight, Jonathan encourages Tommy to pick up Edgica so that at least her dog Potato Chip can be set free from the upcoming violence. Tommy is hesitant after his last encounter, so Jonathan decides to do it himself. He cannot maintain control, but Potato Chip thanks him for this mercy as he flees. Jonathan becomes paranoid of his fellow bounty hunters turning him in and decides to beat them to the punch. He loads Edgica into his new minigun and opens fire on the party. Moose slides under Jonathan and guts him with his sai before he can do much damage. As Jonathan lays dying, The Horseplayers (a bounty hunter gang of horses that recognize Jonathan from when he was Checkers the horse) emerge. Their leader Secretariat offers to heal him by turning him back into a horse. Jonathan accepts, hoping to live as a good horse and be given a second chance to become a human.

Edgica tries to tempt the others into wielding her and Tommy attempts to destroy her for the chaos she’s brought. Neil is drawn to the unholy power and her righteous rage, synchronizing with Edgica. She climbs a massive building, merging with it and turning into a giant, dark god of Piss Harbor. She begins hurling debris and summoning storm clouds to wreck the city while Moose and Tommy fly on Thou. They distract Neil with gunshots until Moose dives onto her, splashing her in the chest with holy water. Seeing that guns aren’t doing enough damage, Tommy resorts to his last weapon: the banana. He squeezes it to fire it like a gun, splattering Neil in the spot purified with holy water. Neil sees it as litter and a sin to be destroyed, stabbing herself in the chest. She falls from the tower, clutching at Edgica as she dies so that her statue hands prevent anyone else from ever wielding her.

Tommy and Moose reach the shore, deciding to leave town together on a deceased Terry Surgery’s yacht. They are joined by Mabeline Moonlight riding on a full horse Checkers before sailing off into the sunset.

In an epilogue, a team of archeologists unearth the last remaining source of magic: an ancient gargoyle clutching a sword. As the gargoyle’s hands crumble to dust, the eye on the sword opens and orders them to pick her up.

Trivia[]

  • In the outro, The Gravefreaker teases the next series: a game of Honey Heist GMed by Tim Platt. He says that it is delivered in the form of an ancient copy of Zoo Books.

Links[]

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