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When a bounty is called on Christ Sux (special guest Abdul Aziz) our heroes take the case. But maybe they should be less focus on the bounty, and more on who called for the bounty...

Summary[]

We open on two young men tossing small swords at rats in an alley. The eastern Piss Harbor residents (Sux Christ and his less important friend Booger) mull over their wishes for money. They concoct a get rich quick scheme and put a bounty on Sux, planning to claim it for themselves and build an above-ground pool for Booger’s mom with the money. They cobble together a list of crimes for Sux, including burning down an orphanage and killing the king of Piss Harbor.

The party meets up at Dino’s Bar and Grill as the new headquarters for Moonlight Bounties. They swap banter while Moose remains bitter over Neil’s holy water returning his virginity in a previous episode. Tommy proposes using the same holy water to forgive him of his own sins, but when Neil tries it, it only restores his virginity. Mabeline Moonlight arrives and provides them with the vague details on Sux’s bounty. She assures them that if he is so monstrous and powerful to achieve the things he’s wanted for, he’s not to be trusted and presumed dangerous.

The party rides off on Jonathan Large to the east side where they question one of the local men who throw bicycles at themselves. They’re led to the Blimpies where Sux is supposed to work, only to find a man in a mustache and apron. They question the mysterious clerk who speaks highly of Sux and recalls being in middle school with him a thousand years ago. The party begins to suspect that Sux is some kind of bored, immortal god when Sux’ fake mustache falls off. They attack him but Sux responds with a storm of his Hot Topic throwing stars, critically wounding Tommy Whistle. Sux quickly regrets the trouble he’s caused, realizing that he won’t receive any money for the bounty since he would need to provide the bounty money himself. He uses his Monster energy drink to bring Tommy back to life. The fluid shoots out of Tommy as blood of forgiveness, restoring his sexual experience. Tommy forgives Sux but agrees that he still needs to be arrested for his crimes.

Booger arrives in a bounty hunter costume and hurls a live grenade at Sux. Sux throws the porno mag he got from his uncle-father, wrapping it in paper before Neil swallows the grenade. Filled with pornography, she absorbs its sexual experience and the explosion. Sux and Booger explain their failed scheme and all is forgiven. Sux promises to better himself and Moose deflects any blame for the damages by writing a note that the crooked cops caused all of it.

Links[]

Episode: https://art19.com/shows/rude-tales-of-magic/episodes/0b2bf228-e994-4e3c-8d36-b84a04a7193f

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