"You are Scrum! Scrum Fabulous!
You're a man who god calls king!
You're worth your weight in golden bars and your weight's no paltry thing!
You taught the pope forgiveness! You lease out wedding rings!"
Scrum Charles Fabulous is a crime lord in The Soaking Valley. He is a large bullywug, resembling a toad in fine clothes and a wig made from human hair. He often travels accompanied by The Sodom Sisters, a pack of rough-looking gnolls.
Scrum is a charming but shady character and a “friend of criminals.” He holds sway over the city guard, and dropping his name will supposedly get you freed and handed over to him instead. He deals in favors, and has no shame in killing those who disappoint him or kidnapping people to hold them as eventual leverage. He remains flippant, playful and stylish in nearly everything he does.
He works out of Scrum’s Pad (sometimes Scrum's Place), his home and bar that he is quite proud of no matter how many times its name upsets the party. He maintains many curses and enchantments to both make the bar look more festive and to keep employees and prisoners from leaving the grounds.
Despite his portly appearance and indulgent behavior, Scrum proves himself to be very capable in a fight. On top of his magical prowess, he is incredible nimble while dealing with an intruder near the end of All the Little Ants while casually speaking with Frederick de Bonesby.
Scrum appears to the party after they escape Soaking Valley prison, explaining that he has Albee's parents. He takes them to his hidden lair and after showing off his luxurious pad, makes them an offer. If they can clear out Scrum North and bring him the head of the bandits residing there, he will free Albee's parents. When the party returns, he sticks to his word but reveals that he sold them out to The Witch Hunters.
When the party returns to the Soaking Valley in Enter the Mother, Part 1, they find Scrum living in the sewers beneath the city and leading the resistance against Mother's corruption. He does a capable job running things out of Scrum South, but he does so motivated by money since brainwashed zombies can't pay rent.
Trivia[]
- When Scrum was hatched as a tadpole, he ate all of his brothers and sisters. He claims that this let him absorb their birthdays, making every day his birthday.
- Scrum's Pad has a hall lined with portraits of him meeting Cordelian celebrities. He admits to having met Kreedis, finding him delightful but unable to hold his liquor. Despite Albee's high expectations, he claims Kreedis was easily thrown out after behaving rudely.
- Scrum and Moira Thousand are not only both bar owners, but they both stand above the law. Moira is immune to the guards after murdering so many of them, and seems able to arrest and release people at will. Scrum states that the mere mention of his name will get you released from jail.
- Scrum's middle name is Charles. The name and his numerous birthdays are shared with Charles Entertainment Cheese (aka Chuck E. Cheese).