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The party continues to travel towards Brian Doyle Falls until a huge and especially intense paladin appears, mistaking Stirfry and Frederick de Bonesby/Prolapse for attacking monsters. He is quickly corrected and introduces himself as Wartortle Spone, a paladin of vacationism. He and Bellow quickly hit it off with Wartortle explaining that he was summoned to The Soaking Valley for his divine duties. Before that, he is charged to rid the nearly trails of sirens that have been luring people into crashing into the rocks (they are not seabound; they just make people run really hard into the rocks). The party agrees to help him and Wartortle agrees to give them his magical wineskin of bottomless sangria. Stirfry and Cordelia go to search for berries where Cordelia confesses to having kissed Albee again while he was away.

The party blocks their ears with wax, save for Wartortle who insists on being tied to something to withstand the song. The party complies, strapping him to Bellow’s back once he turns into a horse. They see travelers being drawn to the song, crushing themselves against rocks along the way. The party charges in where Wartortle quickly falls for their spell. In his charmed state, he unblocks Bellow’s ears and lets him be charmed by the bird women’s song as well. While Stirfry manages to kill the first, Bellow manages to leap into the arms of the last siren. This frees her as the first siren to successfully lure a victim to them. She offers to be his mate, but when the spell breaks Bellow mentions that he’s already involved in a thing. The siren flies off, with Bellow naming her Stephanie as she departs.

Trivia[]

  • The sirens sing an acapela version of Katy Perry's song Firework.
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