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Jesus Christ, we're finally back.


An episode of Rude Tales of Magic. The party finishing their dealings with Pebis just to find themselves in the clutches of a troll.


Summary[]

The party finds themselves back in their normal bodies after overcoming Pebis' powers but with some side effects. Frederick speaks in a high, garbling voice, identifying himself as Prolapse and Goatse, the goblins whose bones made up his jaw and hand that took over while there was briefly nobody in the body and taking his body for a joyride while he's stuck in the back of their mind.

Albee attempts to salvage a relationship between her, Bellow and Cordelia, but the other two don't share the same interest in each other. A shrunken Stirfry pleads to get his original body back, and Pebis forces him to confess a secret to bring him back. He admits that if any of the party got in his way, he would kill them, sparking some shock and distrust among the party. Albee slaps him, knocking his beak completely off his face. Stirfry experiments and finds that his entire body can come apart in pieces due to Pebis' meddling. Bellow attempts to have them continue towards Brian Doyle Falls, but the goblins mention that Frederick was lying to the group and actually leading them back towards Polaris University.

Pebis directs the conversation until the party learns that he is actively not killing them despite how easy it would be. He points out that none of the demons have been killing them, only trying to stall and contain them under Lexicon Matters' orders. The spell he is using to keep things as they are requires a focus that he keeps in Hell, and he doesn't want the party to be able to reach it.

Having overcome Pebis' powers, he informs them that they are owed one boon. After much debate, they decide to have The Witch Hunters forget that they exist just before Pebis is summoned away through a gateway showing Virginia, who had recently left The Witch Hunters. The seagull assassin demands that they kill or free her, with the destroyed net still holding control over her. She is mauled and wounded by Flipcup and a frustrated Albee, but ultimately Albee allows her to come back and kill her some other day.

Cordelia wishes to leave the party and travel on her own. Stirfry convinces everyone to have a meal and sleep on their decision. They awaken bound and upside down, captured in their sleep by a troll named Jesus Christ. They attempt to bargain for their freedom but end up fighting their way out. Jesus Christ swallows Albee whole, cuing Bellow to leapt after her. Cordelia follows, but her larger body clogs the troll's throat. Stifry commands the rats under his control to swarm down the troll's throat and pull them out, starting to choke the troll. He suffocates as the party pulls back out and he is eaten alive by rats. All the while, the goblinized de Bonesby explored Jesus Christ's "other hole" and meets a wise man, briefly banters over his wisdom, and then leaves.

The party escapes the erupting troll and Cordelia agrees to stay with the party... but not because Prolapse said to.

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