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The gang arrives back on campus for the new semester and-what?? Polaris University is gone? It's now a "Forbidden Zone"?? Boy I have got to start paying more attention!

Summary[]

The party travels with Hot Roddy and The Gyro Express towards the Forbidden Zone, hesitant about their imminent demise. They decide to consult their demonic book for a way to enter Hell while remaining alive. After nearly causing them to crash, the book forms a demon’s face and warns that no bodies enter Hell and no soul ever leaves. It explains that there are countless rules binding those in Hell, but that these rules change constantly and thus it may not always be Hell.

Hot Roddy suddenly crashes as they reach the borders of The Forbidden Zone, running straight into a camp of Witch Hunters. They scatter to try and react, but the party charges through their ranks before they get organized. Cordelia strips out of her clothes, vanishing among the trees with her sasquatch ancestry. Albee controls the ground beneath her to fling herself over the hunters. Bellow insists that Hot Roddy escape with Stirfry's egg back to his parents while he spinulates his way through.

Frederick stays behind, demanding to speak to their superiors. He explains that he has defeated The Unpleasantness and that they have no more reason to pursue them. The Witch Hunters are stunned and call for Upper Management, who is revealed to be a person in a  humanoid mascot costume. After a few questions, Upper Management invites Frederick into his carriage to discuss things further. They remove the costume, revealing themselves to actually be three goblins (Daddy’s Cummies, Butthole, and The Pee That Won’t Flush) stacked up in a human costume. They explain that they rose in the ranks of the Witch Hunters to minimize the threat they pose to goblins while fighting The Unpleasantness, which seems to especially hate goblins for their chaos. DC warns that they’ll have to kill Frederick to keep their secret, and Frederick confesses that he had planned to die anyway. He immediately has a heart attack and dies.

The rest of the team rushes into the Forbidden Zone, left tranquil and natural without Polaris University to level it out. They are interrupted by Strayd Plancis, warning them to leave this place. The party demands the many boons he promised them, frustrating him into granting them. He tell them that there is a single item that is granting Lexicon Matters’ power, but he is unsure what it is. He disintegrates Bellow on the spot, killing him as they needed. Albee frets over the situation, but she and Cordelia urge Strayd to give them another ten minutes before they need to leave, saying she promised someone else that they could kill her. They reflect on their journey and the beauty around them before The Assassin arrives, impaling them both on her sword. She turns back into a seagull as the last of the party dies and goes to Hell.

All of their souls are deemed to be cast into Hell. It is shown as a chaotic place full of creatures of all sorts selling and celebrating their vices and sins.

After the outro, a child is shown in bed. She hears a commotion in her closet just before Stirfry, her newly assigned guardian angel, comes bursting out to greet her.

Quotes[]

"Fans of DND actual play podcasts love bullies!" - Branson Reese

Links[]

Episode: https://art19.com/shows/rude-tales-of-magic/episodes/d7ec5ba6-d570-45d2-9641-d7584a4f168a

Trivia[]

  • When the party gets judged for the afterlife, their sins are declared by a mysterious voice. Cordelia: consulted with demons Albee: murder, rage, anxiety and turning your back on nirvana Bellow: is a demon De Bonesby: "the most denied it has ever been"
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