Rude Tales Of Magic Wiki
Advertisement

In which the party details their sordid pasts, encounters some avian wildlife, enters a mysterious structure, and meets- no! It can't be! ::gasps::

Summary[]

The Obelisk flies the bears towards the throne of  the first bee queen. He tells the tale of how it came to be when bees tried creating thrones out of pollen for their queen, forming the first honey. The Obelisk asks for a story in return, and the party explains how they all met.

When Sunny was in his prime, he had hired Cap'n as his muscle when he met him in a bar. Cap’n had to attend boating school to sail, so he contacted Doctor Ursus to sell him the answers while he was on the board. Ursus was caught and sent to jail in the arctic, only to easily escape into the frozen wasteland. He reached a bodega where Burnie was trying to take slurpies back to his kingdom when he didn’t have the money, so Ursus forged some cash for him. Burnie so admired his face’s portrayal on the money that he gave Ursus a ride to safety. They stumbled upon Reboot who was streaming The Traitor using the wifi on their car, killing time with him in their boredom. Reboot had also met Sunny when he was hired to fix his VCR. Sunny tried to ransom Reboot to his parents but it turned out to just be two random red pandas.

The team arrives flying above a pyramid that The Obelisk says he cannot approach. The party spots a variety of nearby birds, using their various skills to catch a ride on one down to the surface. They descend into the pyramid where they find the throne surrounded by the stingers of slaughtered bees. They conduct electricity between them, shocking Sunny when he approaches. The party uses their abilities to gradually tear down the throne’s defenses. Sunny is nearly driven mad by his sun bear instincts for honey, but he remembers Cap’n’s granddaughter and helps him reach it instead. He throws Cap’n, who conjures all the favors of sea and air he’s gathered over his years of sailing to form giant boxing gloves of fog. He bashes away the last of the electric stingers, but the electricity animates and pins him to the wall. The throne asks him a final question: the daily double. Cap’n answers its riddle and goes to retrieve the honey when a petrifying smell hits the group. Moriarty Newman, the mysterious skunk in a mockery of a honeycomb crown, steps forward, restraining them all between his stench and his stone bee army. He takes the throne for himself, having always been foiled by the daily double. He admits there must be consequences for his own failures, so he gives the bears an offer: one day  to steal the throne, but he will be sitting on it the entire time.

Links[]

https://headgum.com/rude-tales-of-magic/bears-the-blessing-of-the-obelisk-part-2

Advertisement